I was reading O-chan's live journal... along with Westenskow's and Joel's today and I realized how neglected my blog was.

I never realized what really went on through everyone's mind till I started reading their livejournals. I had known Westenskow as this calm, generous... just awesome kid that loved to DDR as much as I did. I found out there was so much more to it and that I really had no idea what people were feeling at all. I dunno if he had just moved to Richland not too long ago or something, but when he mentioned that he was fortunate to have such a strong bunch of people to be friends with, it really made me think about the years I lived there.

I was extremely fortunate enough to move to that small town and have friends as great as them. Sometimes I lose sight of that. Not too long ago I talked to Owczarski about all of this, along with my plans for the future. I used to think I had it all planned out... I would graduate and move back to Washington and spend my life with the people I cared about and with the people who cared about me. But recently I've become unsure of it.

I remember when I first moved here I wrote in my blog something to the extent of "People tell me that I'll eventually be okay and move on.. but I don't want to!" And for a year, I effectively sabbotaged relationships here to break any ties with New Mexico. Then I met the kids I hang out with to this day. And, they're ...awesome. I don't know if I'll be able to leave them. I told Sparky about this at Wushu yesterday. (Sparky moved down from Washington as well and we use to joke that we'd both move up and end up going to College together even though he's 27 and I'm 16) Sparky said "Ahh the hooks of New Mexico have gotten to you. Anyone who moves here eventually ends up staying... it's a trap."

It seems I have a lot of thinking to do... a lot of decisions to make... It's funny how a couple weeks can completely change your life