This is my last day on this computer. I have 4 more days till I leave.

Andrew, I love you so much. You've made such a difference in my life and I just want you to know that I'll always remember you. Goddammit... I'm done...

God, WTF... this is so unfair. Today is my last day in this house because by this time tomorrow I will be staying in a hotel.

This is also my last goddamned week here and I haven't been able to get out of the fucking house becuase of my goddamned wisdom teeth. At this rate, I'll never see Andrew in person again, and I'll never be able to see any of my friends again.

I wish this would end.. and become a big joke. I wish my parents would divorce and my mom and I could live here.

God, WTF... this is so unfair. Today is my last day in this house because by this time tomorrow I will be staying in a hotel.

This is also my last goddamned week here and I haven't been able to get out of the fucking house becuase of my goddamned wisdom teeth. At this rate, I'll never see Andrew in person again, and I'll never be able to see any of my friends again.

I wish this would end.. and become a big joke. I wish my parents would divorce and my mom and I could live here.

Hey SHEEENNNAA...."Yesterday was a lot of fun. I baked cookies! It marked the first time I'd ever baked without a disaster. They were chocolate chip cookies and Sean came over to bake with me. To the Chica in Richland: let's see ya get shorty to do that, eh? eh?"

But, can he tweak your blog template?? Or what about teaching you to play StarCraft? "eh? eh?" HA! That's what I thought!! Mwahahaha!! Who has the superior boyfriend now!?!? I still love you Sheena, even though Andrew is much better than Sean.

Yes, today was an oh-so very good day....

And tomorrow, I get my wisdom teeth out.

Ah, I feel bad. I went to The Dead People show instead of Emily's party. I kinda lied and said I was staying at home... Now I feel really bad. But I invited all of them to go see Minority Report, if it helps, but I'm afraid SOMEONE might accidentally let it slip. That would just phuck me over.

Summer is fun, except for the hotness. It should snow!!

My mom is letting me get new speeeeaaakkkers!! Yay!

On a better note, school's out... and Ohh... WHOA... Sheena's supposed to be here!! Whoa!! I didn't think of that!!

I originally posted to say I'm going to Amanda's party.. but SHEENA'S here! ....I think.

Yesterday, was the last day I'll ever, see, Sara... It didn't really sink in till I got in the car and and waved.

She also said July 9th is 3 weeks away. She better be shittin' me, because....that's way too soon.

SHIT!!! I have so much to do.....It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

I promise, this will be my last blog for today!!

My dad and I were having this conversation online, and somehow.. he asked me who I was interested in. I told him to guess... and he was right on... I think he knows me too well, because I have never said anything to him about it. Read and be astonished.

PunkerLotusSNA: But I have my sights set on someone else.
darumahamster42: Gee.... I wonderrrr whoooooo.
PunkerLotusSNA: Fine, guess.
darumahamster42: No idea......except maybe the guy we gave the computer to......ol' what's his name
PunkerLotusSNA: You know me way to well....
PunkerLotusSNA: How do you figure?
darumahamster42: You can be obvious sometimes.
PunkerLotusSNA: ??
darumahamster42: Of course, I can also tell he kind of likes you too.
PunkerLotusSNA: Oh?
PunkerLotusSNA: How do you know all this??? This is creepy?
darumahamster42: By the fear in his eyes when he sees me.
PunkerLotusSNA: Hahahahahahahhahahahaa
PunkerLotusSNA: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
darumahamster42: When your casual friends turn into more than that, I don't know why they think I will suddenly think they become slime
PunkerLotusSNA: Hahahaha.
darumahamster42: , but they do look at me different
PunkerLotusSNA: Dad...I'm sorry... but I don't think that he looked at you that way.
PunkerLotusSNA: Jesus..
darumahamster42: I don't try to. I don't mind if you have a boy friend.
PunkerLotusSNA: That's good.
darumahamster42: But they all seem to worry if I'm going to kill them
darumahamster42: I promise I wont.
PunkerLotusSNA: Ok
PunkerLotusSNA: Yeah..

Later in the conversation.. he decided to talk about my old boyfriends. He has good points... watch.

PunkerLotusSNA: ehh.. most of them have been pretty........mmm...
PunkerLotusSNA: challenged.
darumahamster42: I was going to say stupid.
PunkerLotusSNA: yeah that fits
PunkerLotusSNA: no offense to Aaron..
PunkerLotusSNA: he's cool... and stupid....
darumahamster42: Aaron's OK, but Matt was diffinitely challenged
PunkerLotusSNA: Hahahhahahahahahahaha.

OK, read this and tell me Irene is stupid.

SlushStomper: ug read:
SlushStomper: superFUNK in red: i'm giving rides to the river friday, and naomi is going, and i said i wouldn't take her, but that means austyn won't go and i feel bad about that.
SlushStomper: austyn invited her, they seem to be getting along..?
superFUNK in red: ... yeah ... no shit ... ?
SlushStomper: then why wouldnt austyn go?
superFUNK in red: because i won't take naomi
superFUNK in red: ...
superFUNK in red: and austyn wants to satay with naomi
SlushStomper: so youre not going to take naomi just because you dont like her, even though everyone else wants her to go?
superFUNK in red: pretty much. it's me giving the rides, not them.
SlushStomper: yeah i know but i thinks thats i time when you just need to suck it up and deal with it
superFUNK in red: a hostess doesn't invite someone to a party just because everyone else likes them if she hates them more than anyone else
superFUNK in red: no, she needs to apologize to marcel.
SlushStomper: why
superFUNK in red: then i'll be fine with it.
SlushStomper: oh naomi
superFUNK in red: because that was the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me!

Wow, ok, first of all, I'd watch porn before I'd ever apologize to Marcel. Second, The park is a whopping 10 minute walk anyway, and I didn't even plan on getting a ride. And, last, she deserved it, every now and then she deserves it up the ass.

...... I feel like hurting something.. mercilessly.

Sheena, I thank you for the shout out. I think you did that because of the e-mail I sent to you, heh. I don't think I am a real punkrocker though. I'm just a poser, but I am the best poser out there! HA! So, Sheena, you seriously are bringin Sean? For how long? Ah, school's out soon, I can't be happier.

Ahm, yep, today was a good day. A very very good day. You know who you are....wait, that's stupid, the only people who read this are Andrew and Sheena anyway. Ok, to put it semi-bluntly, I love my geek.

Ehehe..... er... I mean. Ok, I can't quite spit it out, so I'm moving on.

School is out in 3 days not counting today!! Well, we'll only have to deal with the classes 2 days because of the awkward scheduele. Aahh damn. Soo close.

Fellow bloggers, BLOG DAMMIT! I see the same posts everytime! Actually, it says you have lives, and I don't. Well, aside from going to Andrew's today, I did homework for once. Too many narcotic drugs, me tired........I got 15 problems done in spanish, while everyone else got 88 done.... yeah. I think I fell asleep, but I really don't remember.

P.S. Andrew, you owe me 8 manbewbie ... things..

I've said some harsh things to my parents, but never have I meant it more.

sannami22: I want to be sad.. leave me alonr
darumahamster42: Mom actually has had a number of friends.
sannami22: I'm amazed you married her
sannami22: I would've divorced her.
darumahamster42: I don't want to.
darumahamster42: I am trying to figure out how to get her to deal better with you though.
sannami22: You guys have never felt this
darumahamster42: You would be amazed.
sannami22: I like my friends more than my family.
sannami22: I tell them things I don't tell anyone you.
darumahamster42: You would still be amazed.
sannami22: They comfert me when I'm depressed... they rpovide me withnthings you never gave me
sannami22: Brian, will be a better brother than Kenji will ever be.
sannami22: Emily, will be a better mom to me than Toyoko ever was.
sannami22: They treat me like family.
sannami22: No secrets, no scheming behind my back...
sannami22: On my scale of value, they all come first.

I said some other things here and there. But after that, he shut up.

Ehh. I went to the show yesterday. 800 Octane and STFS played. STFS was really good. I'm sorry that I didn't take time to buy merchandise.

Andrew's week long vow to not masturbate has now been completed. Congrats to him. Let's try for a month!!

Jon wrote this poem for me, so I will remember him when I move. I don't know... but it made me cry.

JOnNyFiRe7: "Your smile refreshes my soul, you do not look like Bob Dole"
JOnNyFiRe7: "Your laughter, like rain drops, brings life back to the desert, I want to eat you like dessert?!"

To say the least. I love all of my friends more than my family, or anyone else I've ever known. I seriously love you all as if we've been friends since the moment we breathed air. The fact that I won't see you everyday, for the next year or so, pains me to the point that I was thinking of commiting suicide. You all mean so much to me and I can't even begin to express. Everyday at school, I just want to break down and cry. I want to tell you all how much I just want to be with you all. I'd give up all the luxuries of my life, just to stay with you. As pathetic as this sounds, I am prepared to do so. Just don't let me move!

Please... before my shirt is completely soaked with tears.....

I've done nothing these past two days. I'm borrreeeedddd.

"I feel loved"~Depeche Mode.... makes me happy.

I am back from the ballet thing. We had to run up mountains, gulp down slurpees in 2 minutes( it gives you fucking brain freeze.) I'm proud. I fixed DSL. The DSL help line guy just told me "It's your connection, not ours." Which was all I needed to hear. I found the problem, and fixed it. The stupid mother fucking cable was jammed in. Some genius had crammed it in the day before. Ahh more to say. But I am eating dinner.

Scratch that last post. I'm just tired, my day didn't go very well, and my head hurts.... really bad. See, today I invited people to go to the Carnival with me. EVERYONE said no. Jon said he was going to a movie with KT, but one of my ballet friends who was there said she saw Jon and KT there. Somehow... I feel betrayed. All I did, was sit and breathe this whole day. DSL stopped owrking when the power shorted at 4: 30 ish this afternoon. It shorted at Kurt's, James', my house, and most likely our whole block. DSL is still not working, so I'm on dial-up. I've had a hellish day.

I've been thinking about this for a while, but if I killed myself the night before I moved. I would die completely happy. I'd be with my friends, You see, I know being sad is part of the whole moving process, but the fact is I don't WANT to be happy in Albufuckme. Because beiing happy, means that I've forgotten about how much I like my friends. I don't want to leave them. No, I rephrase that. I WON'T leave them. I think I just might put this plan into action. Ahhh! I just don't want to leave! FUCK!!! Cursing never seems to help. And neither does hitting myself. I'm so depressed. No wonder I haven't slept in the past week. I slept well last night for the first time in that week, because I had much fun. I just wish everyday was like that day. Well, good night all.

P.S. To make things worse, Luke jsut asked me out. I don't want to go out with him. I like someone else. Poor guy.

Mmm... listening to The Cynic Project at 8:30 in the morning makes me ultra happy.

At Joel's party, (he has a pool) they managed to convince me to come in the pool with my sports and KT's shorts over my somewhat see through underwear. Lots of dunking action.. I got Andrew twice, he got me twice. Amanda and I had a truce. Brian twice, Lane twice on and on. But when they all ganged up, they dunked me quite a bit more. Non the less, very fun party.

I think, that I will invite people to go to the Carnival today. Brian had suggested it yesterday, so I think we should. Let's just hope Aaron doesn't puke on his shirt again and leave it under a cone. :::shudder::: But yes, I think I might do that.

Okay, away I go to the shower, because the shower is important to me.... I smell like chlorine.

I had just posted, but instead of pushing 'post and publish' I accidentally pushed 'Blogger.' Great, now I have to re-write it.

Well, Andrew, I guess I'll just save up to buy a whole new computer.

Joel's party was today, and I had a lot of fun. I wrote more before, but it's one of those things that only comes once. I can't remember the words.

I will post more tomorrow after ballet gets out at 2.